Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional!

Ressurection, Chapter three

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 19:35:26 GMT

Title: Resurrected
Genre: Drama
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bunny, Chuck and his friend.
Reviews: Yes Please! Readers Rock, but Reviewers rule!
Summary: An AU set one year after Chosen. The ultimate sacrifice was made. He was a champion he never knew himself to be. He died a hero for a world that doesn't know. Now he's back.
Chapter summary: Catching up on everyone else.
Note: Kudos and many thanks to waywardchilde for his invaluable help with this bit of insanity.
Everyone: Go read Blood Knights In Gotham it’s been nominated for a fist-full of awards at the Lost In Spike awards site. Yay!

Prologue: Resurrection
Chapter 1: One More Time
Chapter 2: Necessary Evil

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Watcher’s Council…

Without losing his place in the report he was reading, Rupert Giles automatically dodged the teenage girl barreling down the hall of the newly rebuilt Watcher’s Council. It had taken a year but they had finally gotten everything up and running smoothly. With Willow as head of the Magic Department, Buffy as head of Slayer training and Andrew as head of Research, all departments were off to successful starts. Andrew had been the most surprising asset in that he lived to research. The former member of the ‘Nerd Herd’ had really found his niche in the newly restored Council library.

It had taken Buffy a while to recover from Spike’s death and Angel’s unexpected move to his new position as CEO of the largest and most evil law firm in several dimensions but she had settled nicely into her role as head Slayer. Her grief had matured her into a quieter and more focused young woman. Giles was very proud of her and told her often. It had taken her some time to forgive him of his misguided attempt to kill Spike but they had moved past the hurt into a more understanding level of their relationship. Now they were more like colleagues than Watcher and Slayer. It helped that they had ceased to keep secrets from each other.

Xander had supervised the construction of the Council building and was now on a much needed vacation in the Caribbean. He was enjoying a cruise with the young lady he’d met while attending classes at the nearby university. Giles had been pleasantly surprised when the male Scooby had decided to pursue a degree in engineering and had enrolled in classes not long after they had all relocated. He could no longer do the hands-on construction so he had decided he wanted to design buildings. The new Council building had been Xander’s first attempt at it and Giles was ecstatic with the result. The older man had been worried about Xander after everything that had happened, especially with Anya, but the resiliency of youth had once again let time heal the wounds and allowed all of them to resume living again.

With a small start, Giles realized he’d reached his destination, Willow’s office. He knocked lightly on the door and smiled when he heard her summons.

“Come in, Giles.” Her laughing voice floated through the panel.

He opened the door, not surprised to see the others had already gathered in the witch’s office. “I assume you’ve seen this report?” He held up the sheaf of papers he’d been reading.

The redhead nodded, her pretty face sobering. She’d grown into her power since the spell activating the slayers. It had turned out that the spell had primarily affected the potentials who were participating in the battle against the First. Younger girls who had not yet been identified as potentials had been discovered to have been given some advanced physical abilities but they were a long way from being actual slayers. The theory had developed that they would realize their full slayer capabilities when they reached their mid-teens. Willow worked with the coven to identify and keep an eye on all the girls who’d been affected.

“We don’t know what happened yet but we’re checking it out.” She told him, referring to the witches in the coven the Council kept on retainer.

Andrew glanced over his copy of the paper and looked up, attempting to be more grown up than he actually was. He had changed a lot from the hesitant young man who’d hero-worshipped Spike, but glimpses of that prior personality still peeked through. “Did you notice that it was on the Anniversary?”

They could all hear the capital letter on the word ‘Anniversary’. It had been a difficult date for all of them, which was one of the reasons that Giles had encouraged Xander to go on the cruise. It was days like today that he wished Buffy had joined Xander, but the senior Slayer had been adamant in her refusal.

Buffy had been listening quietly, her face was pale and solemn. “What do you think happened?” She asked Giles. Her copy of the report hung loosely in her grasp. It had been hard over the past year but she’d finally moved on. She had meant what she’d told Spike as he was dying but had come to realize that her love for him didn’t have the depth he would have needed if he’d survived. She’d mourned him but her heart had not been as broken as it could have been. Reluctantly, she’d realized that he’d been right in his denial. She was happy in her new job and had started seeing a young Watcher-in-training.

Right now Buffy was grateful that her sister was still in school for the day. Dawn had been heartbroken over Spike’s death. It had taken her a long time to stop crying and feeling guilty over not making up with him before the final battle. The teenager was now making good grades in high school and would be graduating in the next year. She wanted to attend the Watcher’s Academy but Buffy and Giles wanted her to go to regular university first. The younger Summers girl had shown an affinity for demonic languages that Giles privately felt was comparable to Spike’s.

“I truly don’t know. I’ve been considering sending someone out to investigate it but after the initial burst of magic, there hasn’t been any further activity at the site.” Giles answered her, cleaning his glasses.

“Oh! Let me! Please? I’ll do a good job. I promise.” Andrew almost bounced in his chair, barely restraining himself while he pleaded his case.

Giles smiled at him kindly. “I haven’t decided yet who will go. But I’ll keep you in mind.”

A muffled squeak was all that escaped Andrew as he started making silent plans on what he needed to pack.

Los Angeles Branch of Wolfram & Hart…

Angel looked up from a file folder as Wesley tapped on the open door leading into his office. “There was a huge magical disturbance at the Sunnydale crater night before last. On the anniversary of the Hell Mouth closing of all days.” Wesley began as he entered the office.

“I have a report on that in front of me.” Angel said. “Do we know what caused it?”

Fred came in with Gunn and Lorne. “I sent a team out to the crater but they didn’t find anything.” The slender brunette physicist consulted a clipboard clenched in one delicate fist as she spoke. She sat on the arm of the chair Wesley had claimed and smiled down at him.

They had suffered a few close calls in the year since they had taken over their respective departments in the huge law firm. Angel had been adamant that they could make a difference from within the firm. So far they had but it had been very hard going. Fred had lost her best lab assistant because he’d attempted to have a God-King take over Fred’s body. Wes and Gunn had caught onto Knox’s scheme when the man had tried to trick Gunn into signing the customs forms for the sarcophagus. Wesley’s cold fury at Knox’s deception had stunned them all. He’d shown a scary side of his personality previously unsuspected by his colleagues. Fred had begun to look at the tall, handsome Englishman with new appreciation. Gunn’s own guilt over his near-miss had alienated him from the rest of the team for several months until Lorne had gotten fed up. The peaceful Pylean had taken them all out and gotten them drunk before encouraging them all to air their grievances. They had come out of it closer and stronger than before.

Angel had made the largest adjustment of the entire AI team. He’d given up his son to provide him a better life than he’d had before. The whole group had made the decision together to move to Wolfram and Hart. All of them committed to making sure Connor was protected from anyone looking to do him harm. Angel had become more withdrawn over the last few months as the struggle to combat evil from within proved more difficult than he’d first realized. He focused on the report from the crater. He had a plan, a desperate one. He just hoped his friends would be willing to go along with it.

Not noticing Angel’s distraction, the others went over the report but no conclusions could be made. Wesley made a mental note to contact Mr. Giles to see if they had any idea what had happened. Angel was unaware that Wes kept in touch with the elder Brit. The new Watcher’s Council had officially cut off ties with Angel Investigations but Wesley had arranged to replace the library that had been destroyed in the explosion that had decimated the ancient institute. He cleared his throat as the discussion lagged.

“I think that Fred and I should visit the site. We might be able to uncover more clues than her initial team.” He suggested. Fred rewarded him with a brilliant smile causing his heart to thump. He still couldn’t believe she cared for him.

Lorne was watching them with a paternal gleam in his red eyes. Gunn just looked resigned. He’d missed his chance with the lovely scientist and regretted it but was happy she’d found someone who would take good care of her.

Angel looked up, startled at both the throat clearing and the sudden acceleration of Wesley’s heartbeat. He smiled when he realized the cause of Wesley’s pulse rate, Fred was beaming at the former watcher and the Brit in return was basking in the glow of her smile. “Okay, take Lorne and Gunn with you. If you find anything, let me know. I’ll join you. I’m kinda interested in seeing it.”

A husky note entered Angel’s voice as he thought about the crater that contained Spike’s remains. Buffy had told him how his youngest childe had met his final death. He’d had Wesley reinvestigate the Shanshu prophecy to make sure the Bleached Menace wouldn’t make a living, breathing return. Comfortable in the thought that Spike would not be returning to plague him, Angel allowed himself to feel some small measure of grief over the loss.

The dark vampire listened distractedly as his team made plans on when and where to meet before leaving for the crater. The next time he looked up from the file, he was startled to realize they had all left.

Macy’s Gar and Grill…

Cindy brought Spike another beer, his third for the evening. She could tell that he wasn’t there for the purpose of getting drunk. He’d thoroughly enjoyed his Blooming Onion but was taking his time with his beer. He’d responded minimally to her conversational gambits, not unfriendly just not outgoing. The few times he’d looked up at her, she’d seen the quiet rage that lurked in the sapphire depths. He seemed lost in thought and unaware of her occasional scrutiny. There had been a few of the regular female customers who’d looked as if they wanted to approach the handsome stranger but the aura surrounding him discouraged their interest.

Spike glanced up at Cindy when she placed the mug on the table. “Thanks, Pet.”

She smiled at the term. “So you’re from around here, then?” She teased.

He grinned. “Yup, born and bred.” He affected a truly bad American accent.

She laughed. “I can tell. England then, huh?”

“You caught me. I grew up in London.” He admitted. “A long time ago.” He added almost inaudibly.

“You’re what? Twenty-five?” Cindy ran her sparkling brown gaze down his lean form.

Spike snorted. “I’m a lot older than I look, Luv.”

“Riiiight.” She drew the word out disbelievingly but with a smile. “You do realize that you’ve been the topic of discussion all over the bar tonight?”

He frowned. “Really? Why?” He gazed around in bewilderment. Several of the ladies in attendance perked up when his puzzled blue eyes scanned the room.

She shook her head. “You really don’t know? Don’t you ever look in a mirror?”

A chuckle answered her question. “Not for a very long time.” He replied enigmatically.

A man at a nearby table waved at Cindy and she gifted Spike with another beaming smile before moving over to take the new order. The blond vampire watched the petite waitress sashay across the floor. That was the only word he could think of that described the way she walked. It was an intensely feminine walk but seemed to be completely guileless. He liked the way her long curling hair was pulled up into a ponytail but still managed to hang down to the middle of her back. The color of all that hair reminded him of Dawn’s, a rich mahogany color. Her sparkling brown eyes held only mischief and Spike realized he liked being able to talk to a woman who didn’t seem to have any expectations. He liked the way she dressed as well; her jeans fit well but didn’t look painted on the way other women seemed to like. The t-shirt she wore bore the logo of the bar and merely hinted at her curves without clinging. The forest green of the shirt looked rich against her creamy skin and dark coloring. Instead of the ridiculous high heels he’d gotten used to seeing on the slayer, she wore green and white running shoes with lights that flashed in the heels when they touched the floor. He smiled at the sight. She appeared to be in her late twenties or early thirties, younger than her friend Chuck, who was easily into his forties. Spike wondered briefly just what type of friendship the two enjoyed but decided he really wasn’t that curious.

A familiar tingle crawled up Spike’s back. He sat up, suddenly alert. There was a demon in the bar somewhere. His hostile blue gaze swept the patrons, searching. This instinctive sense for demons had infuriated Angelus on more than one occasion as the elder vampire didn’t seem to have that capability. Everyone in attendance seemed to be completely human but Spike’s senses had never lied to him before so he slowly scrutinized everyone who’d come into the bar in the last few minutes. He would have known if the demon had been there earlier. A smirk crossed his handsome face when he saw what appeared to be a badly dressed young man in his early twenties. The demon’s choice of attire offended Spike’s sense of style and the hat perched on top of his head was immediately termed a crime against humanity as far as the vampire was concerned. Spike watched covertly, amused as the demon tried to unobtrusively approach the secluded table.

Spike looked at the eye-blinding shirt the demon was wearing, deciding that whoever it was had raided Xander Harris’s wardrobe.

“Might as well sit down.” Spike grinned maliciously when the demon jumped.

“Damn, don’t do that!” The New York accent grated on Spike’s ears.

“Do what?” The vampire asked. “Let you know that I know you’re there? I don’t know what you are but if you’re peaceful, I’d advise you to move on. I’m not much for demon fighting any more so just be on your way and I’ll let you go.” Spike finished his beer and dug out his wallet to pay his tab.

The demon put his hand over Spike’s earning himself a low warning growl. He raised both hands in surrender. “Easy. My name is Whistler. I’m just a messenger. They sent me.”

A flash of gold shot through the sapphire of Spike’s eyes. “Then go back and tell them to leave me alone.” He snapped.

“Can’t do that, man.” The newcomer shook his head. “You’re needed.”

“Bollocks. It wasn’t my choice to come back. It was forced on me. I’m not playin any more and you can’t make me.” Spike snarled. Bitterness and hatred laced every word.

Cindy noticed her favorite customer’s agitation and wandered back over. “Spike? Is every thing all right? Do you need me to send Dan over?” She asked, referring to the bouncer who guarded the front door and checked IDs of teenagers who tried to sneak in with fake cards.

“No, Pet. I was just leaving. You’ve been a treat and I’ll be back. Thanks, Kitten.” Spike smiled at her and, ignoring the sputtering demon still sitting at the table, left the bar.

TBC

Resurrected, chapter two

Wed, 14 Sep 2005 21:37:30 GMT

Title: Resurrected
Genre: Drama
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bunny, Chuck and his friend.
Reviews: Yes Please! Readers Rock, but Reviewers rule!
Summary: An AU set one year after Chosen. The ultimate sacrifice was made. He was a champion he never knew himself to be. He died a hero for a world that doesn't know. Now he's back.
Chapter summary: Sometimes you just have to do stuff, evil or not some things are just necessary.

Prolouge:Resurrection
Chapter 1: One More Time

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‘I love you.’ ‘No, you don’t… but thanks for saying it.’ Spike rolled over restlessly as the words haunted his dreams.

Tap, tap, tap.

A hesitant knock on the door drew Spike from his sleep. His internal clock told him it was well past sundown, so he couldn’t really get overly angry with the wake-up.

“Hold on a minute.” The drowsy vampire called as he retrieved his filthy jeans from the bathroom floor. Decently covered, he pulled the door part-way open. Chuck stood there nervously.

“Hi. I just wanted to bring you this little fridge. And I got you something to eat. Looked like you hadn’t had anything in a while so I thought I’d get you started.” The clerk babbled a bit at Spike’s not-so-happy countenance.

“Bloody Hell.” Spike muttered. Nevertheless, he opened the door to allow the human to wheel the small square refrigerator into the room. It was quickly installed in a corner opposite the door that seemed to be there for just that purpose.

“We can’t leave the fridges in the rooms when there’s no one renting cause they get ripped off. I have a friend who works at the Red Cross blood bank. I asked her if there were any donations they couldn’t use due to them being almost expired or something. I can set you up for regular deliveries if you want.” Chuck continued. He picked up a paper bag filled with baggies that had the Red Cross emblem on them. Spike watched him plug in the refrigerator and fill it with bemused confusion.

“What do I owe you?” The vampire finally thought to ask.

“Nothing. I just don’t want to be your dinner some night.” Chuck finished his task and nervously began edging toward the door.

“Don’t eat humans.” Spike mumbled. He shoved both hands through his hair and tried to wake up. He inhaled deeply but needlessly.

“Huh?” Chuck didn’t believe he’d heard correctly.

“I said.” Spike spoke up a little. “I don’t eat humans. I have a soul.” He mentally groaned as the confession slipped out.

A puzzle piece clicked into place. It had been nagging Chuck since the vampire had checked in and gave his name as ‘Spike’. He’d heard some of his previous ‘unusual customers’ talking about a vampire who’d gotten a soul. That was why the vampire didn’t seem as…well, he couldn’t say dangerous because Spike definitely gave off dangerous vibes. Feral was probably the best adjective. Spike didn’t seem as feral as others of his kind that had passed through. Chuck didn’t feel the need to fiddle with the silver cross he’d taken to wearing a few years back.

Spike nodded distractedly. Scrubbing a hand down his face, he tried to think. His sleep fogged brain working sluggishly. He was missing something. It had been so long. Then realization hit. “I need a microwave and a large mug.” He said.

The clerk blinked. “A microwave?”

“Yeah, need to heat the blood. Damned nasty cold.” Spike answered with a grimace of distaste.

“Oh. Oh! Right. There’s a spare in the storeroom. Give me ten minutes. I’ll clean it up for you. We sell cups in the lobby. I’ll get you one of those too.” Chuck offered.

The blond nodded. “Good.”

Half an hour later…

Spike finished his third mug of blood as he checked his pockets. Out of habit, he made sure he had smokes and at least one stake. He replaced the credit card he’d used to rent the room and tucked the wallet back in its pocket. Scanning the list of businesses, he made plans for his next move. He desperately wanted new clothes so the twenty-four hour Wal-Mart appeared to be the logical choice.

He closed the door and slipped the key into his jeans pocket. He stopped into the lobby for directions.

“It’s quite a way to walk.” Chuck observed as he ran a hand over his thinning hair. He considered for a moment before making a decision. “Want to borrow my car?’

Spike gaped at the human, astonished. “Do I want to what?”

Amusement flickered in the hazel eyes. “Borrow my car. That way you won’t have to walk all that way and you can get what you need instead of just what you can carry.”

The vampire leaned on the counter. “Why are you helping me?” He asked quietly.

To give him credit, Chuck seriously considered the question. Long moments passed as he thought about it. “You know, I really don’t know.” He admitted. “It just seems like the right thing to do.”

Chuck was startled at the flash of pain and deep sorrow that darkened the sapphire eyes looking at him. Burning rage replaced the first two emotions so what he said next was low and bitter. “Be careful, Mate, sometimes doing the ‘right thing’ still comes back to bite you in the ass.”

Ten minutes later, Spike was still shaking his head in bemusement as he parked the older model Ford in the vast lot in front of the huge discount store. He noted with immense relief that the place didn’t seem to be very busy. He hated shopping and wished for the good old days when he just stole what he wanted and needed. The soul made that impossible. It wasn’t that he couldn’t steal; he just hated to listen to his inner voice telling him how wrong it was to do so. So, for the sake of mental peace, Spike braved the brightly lit aisles of Wal-Mart.

Inevitably, he found himself in electronics. He amused himself for a while by flipping through the selections of cds before deciding to see how much credit the manipulative bastards had allowed on the cards. With a distinctly smug smirk upwards, he chose close to a dozen of his favorites before moving over to the portable stereos. He placed the most expensive model on top of the music before moving on to the clothing section. A large package of batteries was quickly added.

He ignored the looks he received as he made straight for the black jeans, oblivious to the frankly admiring stares his lean, blond good looks were earning. He knew he was less than clean but it wasn’t his fault. That’s why he was there, damn it. Throwing several pair of his favorite button fly style into the cart, he shifted toward the t-shirts. Six shirts joined the jeans in the bottom of the cart. He chose a belt that was a near replica of the worn one around his waist. Socks were found in the same area as the belts so a package of black ones landed on top of the rest of the clothes. He paused in the dress shirt area, wondering whether or not to try to find any red silk button up shirts, but decided not to bother.

He flipped through the jackets, debating internally if he wanted to replace his duster with something with fewer memories attached. As much as he loved the old leather coat, it had seen much better days. Spotting a black leather biker-style jacket decided him. He slipped the duster from his shoulders and tried on the jacket. It settled into place perfectly, fitting loosely on his slim body and ending just at his hips. It felt nice, right somehow, so he pulled it off and added it to the rest of his new wardrobe. Putting the duster back on, it did hide the worst of the dirt at least, he wandered over to the grocery part of the store.

He loaded the cart with several cases of beer and his favorite chips. He grinned in delight when he found the Jack Daniel’s. Who knew you could buy the good stuff there? His new clothes cushioned the two bottles he placed in with them. He cruised up and down the cereal aisle looking for something appetizing to add to his blood. He mumbled a few choice curses about ‘sodding American stores that couldn’t carry decent food like Wheatabix’ before picking up some Lucky Charms – hey, marshmallows – and a couple of other kinds he remembered from his stays with Xander, one of them being a chocolate flavored brand with a little cartoon vampire on the front. Spike snorted. ‘Count Chocula.’ He thought. ‘Freaking ridiculous name for a cereal, but look, its chocolate!’

The next aisle saw instant coffee, loose tea and hot chocolate mix landing in the rapidly filling cart. The tea required that he pass through housewares for a proper teapot and cup. That meant he had to pick up a hot plate and kettle to heat the water. He was still British after all.

It was frustration that forced him into asking a blue-smocked young girl where the mini-marshmallows were. He added several bags of the sweet snack to his ever-growing pile. He never noticed that she stood watching after him with star-struck eyes following his every move. A carton of cigarettes was next. The cart was getting rather full so he made a quick trip through the hair care department for some gel and a comb. He took his time selecting a toothbrush and paste before calling it quits.

The total made him smirk again and glance defiantly upwards as the cashier ran the card. Ignoring the frankly interested look he was receiving from the woman, Spike signed the slip and headed back out to Chuck’s car.

Back at the motel…

It took three trips from the car to unload all his purchases. The first thing he unpacked was his new cd player and his music. He put the form-fitting earphones in and was soon blasting his eardrums with ‘The Clash’. He pulled tags from clothes and put most of them in the cheaply made dresser. He left out one set of clothes and went in to start the shower. Emptying the pockets of the duster, he folded it carefully and placed it in the bottom drawer. He had enough drawer space on one side of the dresser to put his snacks out of sight before setting up the hot plate next to the small microwave Chuck had brought over. One case of beer joined the blood in the small refrigerator and the rest took up space on the floor next to the wall. The Jack Daniel’s found a home behind the beer on the floor. Soon the room was organized to suit the vampire.

Seeing the steam begin to roll out of the bathroom, he carefully placed his new player and the cds in with his t-shirts. Stripping off the filthy clothes was an exercise in relief and he stepped under the scalding water. Not wishing to relive the empty self-disgust of the previous night, he wasted no time in getting clean and getting out.

A quick glance at his list assured Spike that the bar wasn’t due to close for several hours. The shopping trip, while expensive, had not really lasted that long. It felt good to be clean and have new clothes to wear, he mused as he shrugged into his new jacket. He made sure he had his wallet, stake and cigarettes before he locked the door and headed toward the office to return Chuck’s car keys.

“Nice jacket.” The clerk complimented when Spike entered the lobby.

“Thanks.” Spike smiled a little and held out the keys. “And thanks for the car. Bought more than I planned on but I think I got everything I need for a while.”

Chuck returned the smile. “No problem. Going to the bar?”

Spike nodded. “For a bit. Was able to get beer and JD at Wal-Mart but sometimes it’s just nice to be able to sit let someone else wait on you, yeah?”

“Cindy is a friend of mine. She works there. Tell her I sent you and she’ll take real good care of you.” Chuck winked bravely. He’d been feeling more at ease with Spike than he ever thought he would. The glimpse into the vampire’s pain and rage had given the human a sense of compassion for the blond.

A wistful look appeared in Spike’s blue eyes. “Do they serve Blooming Onions?”

Chuck’s smile broadened. “Yeah, they do.”

A brilliant smile transformed the vampire’s face causing Chuck to blink in surprise. “I think I might like it here.” Spike mused.

The clerk grinned. “I think that’s great. Have a good time, now.”

With a nod, Spike left the lobby and began the short walk up the street to the bar and grill he’d seen when he was leaving for his shopping trip. A bright neon sign lit up the night sky.

Macy’s Bar and Grill.

Spike pulled open the door and went in. He liked the subdued lighting and the rock music blasting from the huge speakers in the far corners. Color televisions over the bar played several kinds of sports. He wondered briefly if they ever watched Manchester United. He found a secluded table away from the speakers where he could sit with his back to the wall and watch. A cute brunette sashayed over to take his order. Her sparkling brown eyes roamed over Spike’s lean figure in frank appreciation.

“Hi, Handsome. What can I bring you tonight?” Her voice sounded as if she were constantly on the verge of giggles.

Spike leaned back and smiled up at her. “Are you Cindy?”

She nodded, her long curling ponytail bobbing with the motion. “Yup.”

“I’m Spike. Chuck over at the motel said to tell you he sent me.” The vampire explained.

“I guess this means I owe Chuck a big thank you, then.” She laughed.

Spike inclined his head, peeking up through thick dark lashes. “Maybe. Can I get a beer and an order of the Blooming Onion?” He asked quietly.

Cindy was charmed by the apparent shyness of Chuck’s latest project. She’d known him for a long time and knew that the gruff motel clerk was in the habit of adopting lost souls. He always sent them over for her to look over. She wondered why her friend had taken in this gorgeous guy. The thought occurred to her that his beautiful smile never reached his deep blue eyes. That pain lurked in their sapphire depths regardless of the expression on his face. She wondered why, wondered what had hurt this lovely man so much. She smiled warmly. “Sure, Honey. It’ll be right up.”

Earlier…

She was late, anxious to get home. Not that she had any reason to rush, she just hated being out so long after dark. Her self-rationalization for it was that living on the Hell Mouth had made her paranoid. She knew that evil lurked out there in the dark and didn’t want anything to do with it. She was done fighting with it and wanted it to leave her alone. She turned her late model car down the main thoroughfare and cruised past the bars that preceded downtown. A flash of platinum hair caught her eye. Spike? No, it couldn’t be. Spike was dust. Buried at the bottom of Sunnydale crater. The man pulled the door to Macy’s open and disappeared inside. She shook her head, blonde hair brushing her shoulders softly. It couldn’t be Spike. Spike would never give up his duster for a biker jacket.

“Spike is dead.” She repeated aloud. She turned at the end of the block and drove sedately into the residential area where she’d bought a house. By the time the garage door closed behind her and she entered the lovely little home she owned, she’d forgotten about the Spike look-a-like she seen. He wasn’t the first one and she was positive he wouldn’t be the last.

TBC

Fic! Ressurection, chapter 1

Sat, 03 Sep 2005 00:13:11 GMT

Title: Resurrected
Genre: Drama
Disclaimer: Don’t own anything but the damned bunny hopping on my head.
Summary: An AU set one year after Chosen. The ultimate sacrifice was made. He was a champion he never knew himself to be. He died a hero for a world that doesn't know. Now he's back.
Chapter Review: Spike finds shelter.
Reviews: Yes, please. Readers Rock but Reviewers RULE!

Prologue: Resusrection

A/N: waywardchilde, my partner and muse contributed a lot to this chapter with his suggestions and rewrites. Thanks!

Everyone: Don’t forget to go read waywardchilde's
awesome fic 'Blood Knights in Gotham'. I think it’s incredibly inspired.

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Spike raised his head, his sapphire eyes watering in the brightness of the light that was rapidly fading around him. Remaining still for long minutes, he blinked until the light fully dissipated. The full moon made it easy to see the devastated landscape surrounding him. His mind raced as he tried to process what he was seeing. Standing up to his full height, he turned slowly around to scan the area. The damage was as far as he could see.

“Hell.” He repeated. That was the only explanation. He was in Hell. He tilted his head back and studied the sky, tracking the progress of the moon as it moved slowly across the starry expanse. There were several hours left before sunrise.

Rage filled his lean body. He could think of no good reason for why he was back. He’d given up everything to save the world and now he was back in it as if his efforts had been a waste. He kicked a piece of concrete sticking up out of the debris, dislodging it and sending it flying into the eerie gloom. Resignedly he began walking, knowing he had to get out of the open area before sunrise.

‘They could have at least wiped my memory.’ He thought bitterly as he trudged toward the cliffs he knew had several caves he could hide in for the day. He wondered what he was supposed to do for sustenance.

‘Bloody gits. Hello. Vampire here. Needs blood.’ He cast a hate-filled glare upwards as he mechanically walked along the road that led to the coast five miles away. He searched his pockets hoping that everything he’d had with him when he dusted had been returned with him. A sigh slipped out when he found a slightly battered pack of cigarettes and his cherished silver lighter. The influx of nicotine did little to settle his anger but gave him something to focus on while he walked. Further searching of the many pockets turned up a well-worn wallet that he’d never seen before. His vampiric vision allowed him to inspect the contents. A driver’s license, three credit cards each bearing the same name as the license, – he wasn’t going to worry about paying those bills – and a wad of cash in various denominations were revealed. He glared upwards again, attempting to convey that it wasn’t enough compensation. He stuffed the wallet back in the pocket it had come from.

A sigh of near relief whispered out when he finally spotted the caves. He gazed around, once more wondering what he was supposed to feed on. As if in answer to the question a fawn wandered across his path. His soul rebelled for several seconds before his hunger overrode it and he leapt with preternatural speed to catch the young deer. He stopped well short of killing it, leaving it weakened but alive in the undergrowth. He listened and inhaled, checking for predators that could pose a danger to the deer. He’d rather kill it himself than to leave it helpless against another threat. Detecting no other living creatures around, he shrugged and entered a likely cave to hole up during the coming day.

The floor of the cave was sandy and dry, providing a relatively comfortable place to sleep the daylight hours away. Shrugging out of his duster, he folded it up for a makeshift pillow. Exhaustion swept over him as he laid down. ‘Slept in worse places, I suppose.’ He thought as he adjusted his duster turned pillow. 'But I shouldn't have to now.' He thought bitterly, his eyelids getting heavy and blinking sluggishly. 'Shouldn't be back, I earned my peace...' His words were spoken quietly in his own head just as his eyes closed and he dove into the darkness of sleep.

Sunset….

Age-old instincts woke the master vampire from his day-long sleep. He stood, stretched, shrugging his shoulders and popping his neck. A grimace crossed his handsome face as he began to brush sand from his clothing. He shook the duster free of the grainy particles and swirled it on. Standing next to the cave entrance, he tried to remember what town was closest to the ruined Hell Mouth.

With a mental coin-flip, he headed for the small town he vaguely recalled as being only thirty miles away. He just hoped there was a butcher that kept early hours so he could get some supplies before finding a convenient motel to hide out in until he could figure out what to do next.

It was a long lonely walk but finally a few lights twinkled in the distance. He trudged wearily along the road hoping the motel would be on the outskirts of the city limits. Another half hour of walking put him in the parking lot of a popular motel chain known for its inexpensive prices and hard mattresses. He gave a passing thought to going further into town to locate the butcher but the warning tingle of sunrise shivered through his body.

Spike stalked into the lobby and slammed his hand down on the night bell. A middle-aged man with a slight beer belly and wrinkled shirt wandered sleepily in from the back room. Irritated that his early morning no customer nap had been disturbed, the clerk glared at the blond leaning on the counter.

“Single, interior if you have it, ground floor if you don’t.” Spike requested flatly. “Need one with a refrigerator, if the rooms don’t come with one I want you to find me one.” The steady sapphire gaze told the human there would be no arguing with the demand.

“The refrigerator will cost you extra and I have one ground floor room left.” The clerk shoved a form and a pen across the counter.

“I want weekly rates. I don’t know how long I’m staying.” Spike stated as he wrote, making up most of the information. To be spiteful, he put down Buffy’s old home address.

Flipping the registration slip around, the clerk scowled. “Sunnydale doesn’t have any addresses anymore. Whole town went down under an earthquake a year ago.” He pushed the form back. “I need a current address.”

“Is that what they called it?” Spike muttered, then he winced. “It’s been a year?”

At the clerk’s curious glance, Spike continued. “I don’t have a more current address, been a bit…. dislocated since then.” He pulled the wallet out and slid a credit card across, along with a fifty dollar bill. “It’s not like I have anything to leave now is it?” He indicated his lack of luggage.

The man picked up the card warily. “Is this stolen?”

“Why don’t you run it and see?” Spike suggested.

The human came back in seconds. “It’s good. Now, Mr….” Spike interrupted him.

“I go by Spike. What’s your name?” The vampire leaned forward just a little.

“I’m Chuck.” The clerk gulped.

“Now then, Chuck. I have a few requirements.” Spike smiled at the human’s sudden nervousness. “I sleep during the day so I don’t want any maid service, ever. I will let you know when I need clean sheets and the maid can just leave the clean towels on the floor on a tray outside my door. I’ll need to know where the nearest bar is, the hours it keeps and the closest butcher shop along with their business hours as well. Just remember all that and I’m sure we’ll get along just fine.

Chuck was no fool. He’d seen some of the more unusual types coming from Sunnydale the year before. There had been more than one customer with similar requirements and he’d felt fortunate that none of them had decided he would make a tasty snack. This man gave off a different vibe than the others had, he seemed more… human, less likely to attack. Running a motel so close to Sunnydale, he was used to the rumors that there was more than meets the eye when it came to things that went bump in the night. He had always hesitated to put a name to it but over time he’d come to accept that his motel had a reputation of being ‘demon friendly’. He just never admitted aloud that such things existed, which was probably in his best interest anyway. He reached into a drawer for a list of businesses that had been drawn up for just such customers.

“You should be able to find what you need at these places.” He said.

Spike’s scarred eyebrow rose in surprise as he scanned the list. “Well, well.” He murmured. “Dealt with the more… unusual type of clientele then, have you?”

“On occasion.” Chuck admitted. “Not so much recently as I did in the past year. Business kinda turned more towards the run of the mill tourist types. For a while before that though, it was almost like an exodus. What with so many people leaving Sunnydale. Did they know the earthquake was coming or was it something else?”

Spike smirked slightly. “Something else would just about describe it.” He glanced out the window at the pinkening sky. “Time to turn in, where’s my room located?” He listened to the directions and nodded, pocketing his credit card and the list as he left.

He noted with approval that the room had a southern exposure, ensuring that the sun would not shine directly onto the door or the window. He draped the duster across a chair. He dropped the key on top of the dresser and, from habit, hit the power switch on the television. He adjusted the volume and turned it to a news channel. He left it to drone on while he went into the small bathroom to start the shower. He frowned when he realized he’d have to wear the same clothes again. With a sigh, he decided a shopping trip was definitely in order.

The water was scalding on his back, easing the aches and pains from all the walking he’d had to do. Now that he’d stopped, the reality of his situation was sinking in. Frustrated anger rose up, choking him in its intensity. He leaned against the shower wall letting the warmth wash over him as the steam rose to fog the small room. A voice echoed through his thoughts.

“The world needs you. One more time.”

Denial slammed through him as his fist pounded on the wall. He was done damn it! Exhaustion flowed through his lean body. He washed slowly as he got rid of the grimy, sandy feel of the cave. His hand glided the soapy washcloth over his taunt and tired muscles. The solid feeling of his body was a sensation he’d missed. His hand slid lower and he quickly began a search for empty pleasure; some resemblance of the warm peaceful forever that was now an eternity out of his grasp. He bit his lip as the fast release caused a familiar but long denied warm buzz to travel through his body; only to have it followed by self loathing emptiness. Spike got out of the shower quickly.

Drying off as he walked back into the bedroom. He dropped the towel on the floor and fell onto the bed, pulling a pillow over his head to dull the sound of those words. ‘One more time.’ Shaking his head beneath the pillow and mumbling his reply to those awful bloody words, "Sod you. Sod you and the rest of the world." The tears were close, but the hatred was closer.

TBC

Fic! Resurrected

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 21:21:48 GMT

New story 'Without Her'

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 21:49:00 GMT

Thought I'd post a story here see if anyone is interested in reading my rambles. This is kind of depressing cause I was at the time.

Without Her

Disclaimer: Don’t own them

Summary: AU season five Angel set right after Damage. Spike’s depression leads to a drastic action.

Reviews: Yes, please. Readers Rock but Reviewers RULE!

A/N: I’m kinda depressed. Sat down to write, this is what came out. Love it, hate it, either way just tell me.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Spike put the finishing touches on the letter. He’d worked all night on getting the wording just right. Without bothering to reread it, he sealed it into the envelope that was waiting. He sat back and inhaled needlessly. Now that he’d reached his decision, it was so much easier to face what he was about to do. He looked around the tiny basement apartment he’d called home for such a short time. The blond vampire knew that someone would be around to check on him when he failed to show up at the evil empire his misguided sire had taken over. Finding out his so-called seer had played him for a fool had brought home to the fact that no one took him seriously at all. He absently rubbed the healing scars on his left forearm. The psycho slayer had further driven into him the feeling that his presence was more of a burden than anything else. So he’d decided to fix it. The burden would no long plague anyone. His unlife had been empty without Buffy and he honestly couldn’t see going to her after his ‘grand exit’ and attempting to make himself believe what she’d said was the truth.

He closed his dark blue eyes at the pain of remembering her last words to him. He knew it had only been a lie to make him believe he was doing the right thing by dying to save the world. He let out a mirthless chuckle. He hadn’t needed the lie, he’d known that his death would mean everyone he loved would live and he’d been ok with that. Facing Dana’s insanity had been a cold slap in the face. He’d gotten off easy in dealing with his soul. He realized that now. The First had played with his mind and in the ensuing battle; he’d been forced to shove his guilt aside.

Now he knew what his next action needed to be. Without her, he was lost. Without her, he had no purpose. He couldn’t be without her any longer.

He sighed. It was time. Time to leave and let Angel do whatever it was he was trying to do without interference. He’d enjoyed being a thorn in his sire’s side but it had gotten old fast. He needed more of a reason to exist than that. He picked up the pen one more time and wrote a name on the outside of the envelope. He was confident that Andrew would not be able to keep the secret and he was not going to wait around for the fallout. Standing, he placed the letter carefully on top of his beloved duster and left.

Three hours later…

After knocking on the door for more than five minutes the slender brunette tried the door knob. To her surprise it turned easily. Angel had told them of Spike’s depression, of his difficulty in coping with the feelings of guilt and uselessness brought about by Dana. She sent a frightened glance at her companion before she pushed the door open. The shorter of the two took the lead and cautiously peered into the dingy living space. They immediately spotted the stark white envelope lying on top of the achingly familiar black leather coat. The brunette rushed forward and snatched up the missive and gasped when she saw her name written in his flowing script. She sank down onto the worn sofa and stared at the envelope, afraid of what it held. She knew instinctively that he’d left again. She ripped it open and scanned the contents. A moan escaped as tears spilled from her crystal blue eyes. Horrified at what she read, she stared up at her sister. She shoved the letter into small, strong hands and rushed out of the room, heading for the stairs. A quick glance had the other girl following her sister as they raced up the seemingly endless flights of stairs. The door burst open and they stood there breathless, scanning the rooftop for the man they had come to find. The one they both loved and wanted back in their lives more than anything. The one they had mourned and missed for so many months. The air was still, making it easy to see the pile of dust on the black surface. Twin wails of anguished sorrow echoed as they realized that they were… too… late.

Finis

Giggles!

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 17:14:16 GMT

Just wanted to add a note that I found this truly yummy photo of James on the internet somewhere. Don't know who it rightfully belongs to. If it's yours let me know and I will give you proper credit. Please don't make me take it down, it gives everyone who sees it the giggles cause it's so damned cute!

Hey! I'm new here.

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 00:56:19 GMT

Hi everybody. WayWardChilde told me months ago I should get a LJ page but I didn't listen, well, got bored last night and set it up. Don't know if I'll spend much time updating, not really the type to post a bunch of personal stuff about me where anyone can read it. So, I'm here, I write and promise to start posting my stories here. ::crickets:: Yup, just as I thought.